At first, I thought I was losing it.  Or did I blame it on the shock of Loren’s unexpected death?  Amongst the searing pain with the never-ending adjustments of living without him,  I couldn’t put my finger on it… but how DOES someone identify something they’ve never lived with before…. this foreign symptom….how DOES a person have the where-with-all to even TRY to concentrate enough to process what is happening to them?  who can even verbalize it?….the heart and the body simply hurt too much.

…in complete honesty… I had been laughingly (slight humor remained in me) excusing myself with these two words… especially when with the people I felt safe with….just hoping that others, who didn’t fit in that category, didn’t notice the deficits.

WIDOW.  BRAIN.   Yes, I was an organized person AND I still ~ LEGITIMATELY had “WIDOW BRAIN”:

• Forgetting to show up to a hair appointment
• Having the oil changed in one of the cars 2,000 miles TOO EARLY
• Forgetting to get a monthly venom allergy shot
• Forgetting how to jump start a vehicle, how to start a generator
• Inconsistently eating full meals and drinking enough liquid
• Making out-of-character-for-me errors during Bookkeeping
• Taking twice as long, at my job and at home, because I knew I needed to double-check all organizational and financial responsibilities for accuracy

PRACTICAL WAYS the Widow can combat her “WIDOW BRAIN”:

• Keep a “to-do” list in a chosen place where you will often pass by it
• Create an area where you will have easy access to your combined random notes
• Write down important thoughts/future events immediately before you forget
• Carry a Planner (Calendar and Notes) in your purse when you leave the house
• Use your Calendar App in your cell phone for reminders
• Every few days, compare your multiple “to-do lists” to make sure they are in sync
• Journal ideas and insights (they will be few and far between in the 1^st year of grief)
• Get out of bed before 6:30 each morning and eat immediately
• Be consistent with a new well-rounded routine, 7 days a week

PRACTICAL WAYS the Friends of the Widow can assist her:

• Lovingly ask if she has eaten today
• Lovingly ask if she is sleeping at night and taking a short nap each day
• To jar her memory (per chance she has forgotten appointments) ask if there are scheduled Appointments she needs to be taken to

PRACTICAL WAYS Adult Children of the Widow can assist her:

•  Per chance she is new to sole financial responsibilities, help her establish her new “Now-Budget and Payment Schedule” on paper
• Per chance she hasn’t paid bills online before, help her learn to navigate it 
• Ask about the status of the finances every few weeks and help if needed
• Continue to assist her until Probate and because-of-death-transitions-and-obligations are completed

I’m just grateful I no longer feel the heavy weight of rocks, as in the picture.