We’ve all seen this “Secondary Losses” Chart.  I had too.   Because I have lost my spouse, I feel there is a missing “sphere/circle” on this chart.

That is,  SEXUAL BEREAVEMENT: “The loss of the mutual coping patterns that develop over a long period of time in a loving, enduring sexual relationship that cannot be fixed or replaced easily”,   written by Dr. Alice Radosh,  Neuro- psychologist from City University of New York.

Well said, Dr. Radosh.  Well said.  Until I inadvertently came across her online article I had not been aware of the actual terminology “Sexual Bereavement” but I most certainly have experienced it.  I was emotionally and physically bonded to Loren for  37 years.  Until one loses that powerful connection with a spouse I’m not sure a person can fully appreciate or understand the magnitude of loss…..

In addition, the British Dictionary describes BEREAVEMENT as: “the condition of being deprived of something or someone valued, especially through death.”

By now I’m sure there are varying reactions from you readers. Possibly, “This topic needs to remain private”.  Some of your thoughts may include, “Find a man.”  “It’s time you move on and get over him.”  Or, “Thank you for being brave enough to talk about this component of widowhood”.

Believe me, my closest widow girlfriends and I periodically discuss the predicament.  We deeply loved our husbands and still love our deceased husbands.

For us, there is no easy solution….for we are governed by powerful memories and the desired continuity of peace from a clear conscience!!!

After 3 years, I’m finally adjusting to the routine of living single, however, it is just now that I am starting to face the hardcore fact  that there are facets of my world that may never again feel “right”.  That realization feels dauntingly painful at times.

I’m just grateful I’ve learned to healthily cope with the adjustments.

“So, God, I’m thankful You’ve given me the grace to stay on course… and the gift of a good dose of common sense.”