I’ve finally set the date for the burial of Loren’s ashes. It’s taken me 7 ½ years.
We had had a beautiful Memorial service within a week of his passing. That day, his ashes were still at the Crematorium – Funeral Home. Death certificates were not yet recorded with the County. It would be another week before my children and I could pick them up.
Living with the shock of his death in comparison, that was OK.
The Memorial Service attendance was astounding. I was shocked of the large turnout on a Monday afternoon service. 63 of his Winco co-workers came to the service. Winco had changed the delivery times to the stores so drivers could attend the service and still work their shifts. Multiples of my coworkers came. The School District I work for (where Loren served on the Board of Directors) ordered an early release day so the staff could attend the service if they chose to. Friends from Loren’s childhood and teenage years were there. Friends of my childhood and teenage years were there. Friends and Pastors from churches we had attended were there. Current and past customers of our two businesses were there. Current and past neighbors were there. Friends of our adult children were there. Friends of Loren’s parents and my parents were there. Our extended families were there and gave us strong support. The Wasson and Gingerich immediate families encircled my family and I…..loving and caring for us well.
To prove I do not typically struggle with great procrastination, I did not struggle to set probate in motion. In all other aspects following a death I did things in a timely manner.
The kids and I had discussed varying options of what we might want to do….wear a Memorial necklace with his ashes, make blown glassware out of a portion of his ashes, shoot a few rounds of shotgun shells with his ashes added to the powder, create a Memorial garden behind the house.
Within a few months of his passing the kids and I went to the chosen local graveyard and purchased a plot. We did this independently vs the funeral home managing the details. I easily drew up the design for the headstone.
It was at this point all forward motion stopped. It now seems I had given myself permission to allow time to stop.
Burial plot purchased soon after his death. Check!
Designing the joint headstone. Check!
Feeling ready to bury his ashes. Uncheck……
Feeling grateful Loren had randomly mentioned he desired cremation. Check!
Relieved there was no pressure or rush after cremation. Check!
Daughter expresses her desire to be able to have a place to take flowers and remember him. Uncheck…..
Finding ongoing comfort with Loren’s ashes being in the room where he had died. Check!
Being indecisive if / how to lovingly use his ashes in his memory. Check!
Gathering all of Loren’s dress and work clothing….having them made in to 11 (eleven) Memorial quilts for each family member. Check!
Ignoring the reoccurring inward prompt that now may be the right time for burial. Check!
Recently losing two uncles, one brother-in-law, and two first cousins within 2 years…each time gathering at their individual graveside services with family…finally….. newly sensing the importance of tradition….honoring the dead with respect and ceremony at the graveside burial. Feeling pleased my kids will soon have the ability to visit a grave if they choose to. Check!
Date set for private burial. Check!