At 3 years and 6 months out, I feel hesitant to speak about my dreams and beliefs in an open forum.  Even though I have FINALLY adjusted to singleness, there is a beautiful struggle with the art of loving your spouse who has gone on before you. 

In a nutshell, I could say I still have a relationship with Loren, howbeit changed because he is physically absent.

I’ve frequently DREAMED OF HIM and have had SIX special dreams of Loren in heaven.  In these six vivid, detailed, colorful dreams I have seen: 

• He, his father, and brother-in-law Max building houses. I’ve seen blueprints and the framework of the houses.  All three were doing physical labor and actively working together with no physical constraints.  In the two dreams I knew they were “preparing”.

• Within 6 months of his passing I dreamed of Loren walking away, me seeing his backside only, with him holding two children, each one (maybe 2-4 years old) held high on each shoulder. I could not see the children’s faces or features. In the dream I was initially puzzled.  In the dream I suddenly realized he was carrying our two grandchildren who never grew enough in their mother’s wombs to be born full term! (After this dream, the intense deadening, desperate grief lessened in me…. I had grieved deeply how he, the avid grandfather, was missing out on the activities and growth of Olivia and Adeline…he also missing out on grandson Lincoln’s birth).

• Loren standing amongst a massive throng of worshipers, looking upward, as a worship service was occurring. Many angels were at the front of the huge area, as if on a platform, surrounding Jesus, who was standing.  The audience was worshiping and eagerly awaiting to hear Jesus speak. (Here on earth, Loren often expressed how he enjoyed worshiping by watching others worship).

• Loren standing amongst a massive throng of worshipers with his hands lifted straight up towards the sky, elbows not bent, all ten fingers spread wide open, as if he was screaming out his adoration to God in the deepest way he could. (There was no watching others.  He was intent.  Even wonderfully “lost”).

• Loren standing in a meadow, the grass and flowers were chest height…. it was as if though he had been slowly meandering for a long time. He seemed to have this depth of calmness and serenity that I had never seen while living with him here on earth. I could see and feel he was deeply communing with God, as if he was listening to the details that the Spirit was telling him. (Loren staying still was atypical here on earth. Also the scene in the dream seemed to last for 10 minutes…).

I believe Loren is not dead.  OF COURSE, I know his physical body died.  Stopped.

 But LOREN is alive and well in a place called Heaven with Jesus and the throngs of others gone on before.  In fact, I believe he is more alive there than he ever was here on earth!   What a comfort.  What a joy!

I dare to say there are others of you who have had dreams and experiences after your loved ones have passed….

P.S.  I’ve also had dreams of him coming to me….but, those dreams are too special for me to share via an open forum.  And, yes, I’ve thought I have felt his presence in a room or in the car…especially during the first two years after his passing.  One of my daughters has had two dreams of him watching her and knowing things.  And yes, I’ve talked with my Dr about some of this…  my neurologist told me EVEN HIS MOTHER has experienced these types of things since his father passed away!