25-35 plus years ago I was a professional musician who was hired to sing and play organ/piano for Funerals and Memorials. Mostly hired for services of people whom I had never known. After every service I’d cry while driving home to my family. The looks of those who were the obvious family of the loved ones left an imprint on my mind.

After Loren’s passing my grief counselor of 3 years (and now my rowing partner) advised me to not allow myself to grieve when “the grief wasn’t mine to carry”. That counsel was given so I would wisely choose who I immerse myself in to….and let myself soundly heal my own greatest losses….Loren and my dad.

Since Loren has passed I’ve done quite well to deeply care and acknowledge the loss of: my young piano/voice student, my Pastor, three uncles, one dear sister-in-law, one nephew, one first cousin, a neighbor’s husband. All of these people were important to me. With genuine care for my friends and their family….while living out the art of guarding my heart…I have managed to not carry these griefs as if they were mine to carry.

This topic of “guarding my heart and not carrying the griefs from every loss” came to me this past week. Some of my tribe have serious health situations, the kind where 2025 could bring more deep sorrow.

I did not bother to make a New Years Resolution. If I HAD chosen to make one it would have been something like this,

“I don’t want there to be anything new. I hate change. I know 2025 may bring loss and grief for our family. Let 2025 be just like 2024…let my loved ones lives remain just the same as they were in 2024 and our activities with each other remain the same”.

…..and what is with the picture? Sometimes I swear I can randomly feel myself hugging Loren or my dad hugging me. I’ve never studied the world of energy….if that picture holds any truth. I can tell you, however, this picture makes me smile, laugh and sometimes cry out of sheer joy.