I’m now on the other side of the fence. No longer the wife of a man, part of two living as one.  Years before Loren’s passing I had observed many people.  Single and married adults.  I now realize, even back then I was learning what to do and not to do in life.

Now, while married I wasn’t wary of every single woman who came our way. But you can bet I wasn’t foolish either! 

My mom had been close friends with Naomi Pfinister and Carol Robeson, both single Christian ladies who at some point in their lives were forced to survive their losses.  Because of them, I had healthy role models of solid, single women and witnessed their interactions with my father, my husband, my children, and many other’s.

Through these ladies I learned:

• It is possible to adjust to a life of singleness even if it not be your first choice.

• It is possible to adjust joyfully and gracefully even if the heart bear sorrow.

• It is possible to be an adult single woman and have fun without being a royal flirt.

Unfortunately, in years past I had witnessed Christian ladies  acting in such a way I was lead to believe they were  “blurring boundaries”. 

Because I hadn’t lived my adulthood as a single person I felt I had “no leg to stand on”….no sound reason to speak up.   Now I do have a leg to stand on.  Today I have  28 months of life experience.

Dear wives, most of you are my  friends…some, casual acquaintances:

• We widows feel and see that slight, ackward “thing” that happens if we are in too close of proximity, for too long, around your husband in the most innocent of situations.

• We don’t resent you wives for your natural reactions.  We understand and do not feel offended!

• Just because I am a Christian lady does not  mean you shouldn’t pay attention.

• When I was married I had upright antennae’s. I applaud you, wives, for paying attention.

• You are NOT a “jealous woman who doesn’t trust her husband” just because you are healthily guarding your marriage! This is normal.  And correct.  So full of wisdom.  You are his help-meet.  Regularly and fervently tending  to your garden.

• We widows would’ve been ferociously infuriated and heart broken if another lady had smeared marital boundary lines.

• Wives, you are very wise to remain your man’s #1 cheerleader. Your man’s #1 friend.  Your man’s #1 confidant.  If any other woman starts becoming one of those, STEP UP!   SPEAK UP!  Don’t become helpless!

• Wives, fight for your marriages!  We widow’s know what it is like to lose a husband in death. Please don’t lose yours out of lackadaisical complacency.

I am just a widow who would give anything to have her husband back.

I am a single Christian lady finding that niche where I fit in.  Trying not be socially reclusive yet very much caring that I never cross lines.  All the while doing it God’s way.