Many might say I have a sick sense of humor.  The truth is, Loren and I shared the same sense of humor.    Should I have passed first you can bet Loren would’ve came up with the 20 reasons about me.  Ha.  Fact.

At 3 years and 7 months out, I’m learning to look at life through new lenses.

Ah, the things I did for love and the things I did begrudgingly, as his help meet.

THUS, MY 20 REASONS WHY TO NEVER RE-MARRY!

1)   Never again must I need to wipe small splats of urine off the toilet rim.

2)  Never again must I need to bake chocolate chip cookies weekly.

3)  Never again must I need to be sure his Winco work shirts are perfectly clean.

4)  Never again must I need to perfectly match his socks.

5)  Never again must I make an emergency trip to the pharmacy to pick up his RX (that he was supposed to pick up the day before).

6)  Never again must I pick up toenail clippings that accidently missed the garbage can.

7)  Never again must I pick up a wadded piece of paper that didn’t hit the target.

8)  Never again must I sweep sawdust falling from the blue jeans and suspenders he had been wearing when outside cutting firewood.

9) Never again must I help a man who had side line businesses that include the wife helping him 5 – 10 hours each weekend.

10)  Never again must I tell him to get off Facebook during a “too-long” sermon at church.

11)  Never again must I ask him to stop playing his solitaire game when I wanted good conversation (while I was driving the Challenger on a Friday date night).

12)  Never again must I need to ask him what he’s thinking if he’s unusually quiet.

13)  Never again must I massage his back and shoulders until my arms and hands ache.

14)  Never again ………… wait a minute.  STOP!  I QUIT!

The truth is this fun little blog has suddenly become very sad.  Hot tears are now flowing.  I’d give anything to have our life back.

Want some wise advice?

• Hang on tight to your loved one tonight.
• Kiss him hard (no light pecks here and there).
• Hug him tightly (none of those light pats on the back).
• With your spouse, make love fervently.
• Get caught up in the moment like it’s your last time (no half-hearted stuff here).

And, please don’t think I was his slave OR married to a lazy man.  On the contrary!  He worked 60 – 70 hours a week for Winco and then busted his tail for pleasure along with the projects we enjoyed.  As he slowed down towards his upcoming retirement, Loren did multiple little things for me.  We were having the time of our lives, lovin’ and playing hard those final 7 years.  No regrets!

P.S.      Yes, it’s true that I’m learning how to enjoy life in the present but I’d readily re-marry Loren again.