In 2016 the Elementary Christmas Concert was cancelled 2x, back to back.   Snow and ice had covered the Willamette Valley. The Elementary School Christmas Concert was finally held AFTER the 2 week Christmas Break!  I was going with the flow….piece of cake to direct-perform with 500 kids who hadn’t rehearsed in 2 weeks. Ha.  Hey, I had survived death.  I knew I could ride it out and I did, because the surprises revolved around music.   But, now the 2019 Holidays are approaching and once more I am starting to recall how those “once-little-things-to-me” now seem to bring higher stress.

Before Loren passed away  I was already making strong progress towards becoming less rigid.  Learning to wing it.  Go with the flow.  Fly by the seat of my pants.  He loved how I had learned to live life well at a moments notice.

Where I’ve now evolved into a “more-eased-person” I’ve EQUALLY discovered DIFFERENT things now bring stressors.   Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised…I’ve been forced to execute life in a new role, so maybe my body and emotions will scream at me in new areas?

• As of last Thanksgiving, after the meal, I officially resigned from preparing the turkey or ham for future family Holiday meals. Leave me the mashed potatoes, gravy, dressing, sweet potatoes AND a side vegetable but no more main dish!!
• As of the 2018 Christmas season, I officially resigned from baking the majority of the favorite goodies for our gatherings.  I needed to “share the wealth” and I must say my kids are stepping up to the challenge.
• (I’m still looking for more ways I can share those duties that moms are expected to do…)

Many times,  I’ve had to ask myself,  “IS  THIS  A  LIFE  OR  A  DEATH  SITUATION?”  (in comparison to my 20 minute attempt to revive him when he died).

IF IT DOESN’T FIT IN THAT   “Is it a life or a death situation”   CATEGORY,  I then:

(1)  determine to give full necessary attention to it (being a good steward of my investment)

(2)  have a few long hard laughs about the irony of the situation (all of the CRAAAZY things happening  AFTER  Loren passed)

(3)  sarcastically saying, “ It’s  ONLY  $ ” (when in reality it’s killing me to pay for it)

(4)  all the while doing my best to de-stress myself and maintain some gratitude for God’s provision and care for me

Frankly, IF I believed in bad luck I’d be saying,  “I’ve had LOTS of  ‘bad luck’  since Loren died”.    But the reality is, things need replacing or repair from normal wear-n-tear & age.

In both September and October 2019, I’ve had to rehearse “The QUESTION and IT’s FOLLOW -THROUGH”:

• I was without water for 5 days…my underground one mile water line broke (SOMEWHERE between the Community Water hookup/meter along the highway… back to my home… the distance of one mile…up hill…down hill…through the forest…through a field)… Two Businesses / Professionals doing some of the diagnostics and labor…sons doing some of the back breaking labor….with me overseeing all of it plus experiencing some back breaking labor. Job completed.
• Drip.  Drip.  Drip….then gush,  down my one interior log wall.  Discovering I had deteriorating, torn composite shingles, in one specific valley,  on the 16 year old roof.  Repair possible and completed.
• The 40 year old Gas Furnace in the rental gave up the ghost. No repair possible because parts were obsolete.  Job completed.
• The Electric Heat Wall Unit in the studio gave up the ghost. No repair possible.  Job completed.

I’ve actually pondered the validity of moving to a NEW house/property EVERY 10 years….that is, before pesky repairs start to be necessary…  yet that is not a viable option for me, financially or emotionally.  I’ll just keep rehearsing “THE QUESTION and IT’S FOLLOW-THROUGH” and continue practicing the art of flying by the seat of my pants… all while hopefully having a good dose of wisdom.