In 2015, some of my adult children had told me, “Mom, we will come out and help you…just DON’T sell the ranch!!!” As time has passed, they’ve had well-meaning intentions but the fact is (1) they work full time jobs, some of them work two jobs (2) they have families and/or do not live near me.
I loved working on this land with Loren……actually, it started 30 plus years ago when mowing for Loren’s dad on this exact land…I enjoyed driving the back trails with him as he shared his vision for the property….all while he still owned the undeveloped land that Loren and I ended up purchasing from him. Afterwards, Loren and I thrived in our pioneering adventure. To stay on top of the up-keep, two Saturday afternoons a month (year ‘round rain or shine) we’d each hop on our ol’- farm-work-horse quads, hooked up to trailers, go back into the trails and trim vegetation, shovel out overflowing ditches, gather firewood, and end up sitting on a log somewhere in the forest and talk about random “out there” dreams of special ways to improve the place.
In 2016 I had hired 3 teenage farm boys to help split firewood. Not only did I have to oversee every minuet thing they did (or didn’t do), I quickly realized my husband had been out-working 3 young whippersnappers at the snap of his fingers. Thankfully, I had never taken his raw strength and willpower for granted but at that moment I was thrown in to the thoughts of, “What will I do without him here?”
For two years I did my best, mostly with daughters Jasmine and Brenna helping, (Brianne and Jasper a few times) doing “the big stuff” (chainsaws, gutters, moss killer on the roofs) that Loren and I would’ve done together. On my own, I still spray the Round-up, maintain the landscaping, mow the lawns, move wood and do the basic up-keep on the buildings.
BUT, in 2018 I gave myself permission to STOP FEELING GUILTY over the need to hire Loren’s two retired friends, Marvin and Dan, to mow the back fields, keep the back trails open, fall blow-down trees, prune trees that are growing over road ways, clean out the culverts, spray the poison oak and Scotch Broom and the list goes on and on. Dan can outwork 3 teenage boys at age 65. Marv is a strong workhorse at age 77.
Simply put, everything feels right when these friends are out working on the ranch with me. They are good men with beautiful wives to share life with, their children and grandchildren too…those loving relationships to nurture on their home-fronts.
Maybe it “feels so right” because they are long-time friends who have remained friends in Loren’s absence…..men who haven’t cleared out because I am single. I trust them. My children know them and trust them. Most importantly, my children and the men trust me. Which is priceless.
It’s THIS that makes peace flow my way…knowing that ultimately everything is alright…knowing I have people on my side in a world that at times still feels harsh.
It’s awesome to have my sweet spot. My place.
P.S. Thank you dear father, TF, and my dear brothers, Galen and Dennis, for being the good, dependable men that you are!